my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad
i hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that shit
its easy to tell who does drugs bc they dont stop fucking talking about taking drugs
I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra
'Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days'
Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am
date you? i thought you said ‘cremate you’ hahaah what a hilarious misunderstanding. *pile of ashes does not respond*